Today was one of those where I wanted to throw in the towel. ENOUGH! ALL DONE!! Ooh, I was tempted. It was one of those days where I just really felt defeated as a parent, ever have those days?? What I wouldn't GIVE to be able to lay on the floor and kick and scream like 2 of my 3 children decided to do today. There's probably something about that release of emotion that is freeing. At least I tell myself that when I watch my boys (or mostly my 4.5 year old) do this over and over today.
I took on a teaching job at my former school today. A school where I worked for 9 years, a school that eventually lead me to quit my job and stay at home with my kids and just do subbing here and there. It was a rough day. A day that reminded me just why I quit my job there. Driving home to pick up my boys from the baby-sitters, I was trying to shake off the feelings of defeat as it was a tough tough day and I just felt really down. I just wanted to get home to see my kids. Being around them and hugging them after not seeing them all day always does something to my soul. When I got to the baby-sitter, I go right up to T and ruffle up his hair. He turns and takes one look at me and melts down yelling and crying, "I don't want to go! I don't want to go!". He keeps saying this as he is slithering all over the floor. I was SO embarrassed! But also on the verge of tears. I had to carry him out to the car (remember, he is 4.5, I'm not talking about my nearly 2 year old). Hello son, happy to see you too!
Just one of those days where I feel like I just am not making it in any of the areas of my life. I hate feeling like this and praying that when I wake up tomorrow, it will be a fresh new day. A new start. It can only get better right?
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